How are you?

"I'm fine."

Wow. I know this is by far the most cliche topic to write on. It made a deeper, even more cliche-er impact on my heart this morning as I was typing an email.

How are things? I'm not really sure. I never have a good answer. People ask me this question a lot (because I'm horrible with correspondence. See: Rachel Larson, Wes Wicklund, Erik Haagenson, Chris Nicoletti, Bryce Perica, and several more I'm sure...). I always feel like I need to be doing well; or at least have some thrilling story about why I'm deep down in the pits.

Perhaps it's a bit too socio-spiritually pressing, but I have to wonder where God fits into this question. The truth apparently sets me free. We'll see about that.

The truth: God said that (and I quote) "It is good." Was he lying, or badly mistaken? Was he making some kind of cruel joke? He could have said "This is the kingdom of heaven, right here, right now." He could have said "Dude. This world is going to SCREW me OVER!" Nope. He said it is good.

Asking someone how they're doing puts them on the spot. I've decided I don't like that. I don't like the question. I've decided that I might be odd for exploring my innermost thoughts on this. It seems with the quesiton that I'm thrown into a reality of "Well, I should be feeling awesome! But things aren't going as well as I want them to, so I'll dodge the whole thing by saying fine."

Then they keep going. "What's going on?"
...Don't even get me started. I take three different medications for three different medical conditions. I was born in the church and am never able to forgive myself for how I sin, where I sin, why I sin, when I sin, and why I can't stop.

Sins include:
Anything that can be sinned.

I see why God wanted to save the world; I don't get why he wants to save me. Sure, I know the word that indicates why; it's love. But I mean come on, God. At least do something NOW. Crush a city or something. Move a mountain. Send the oakland raiders back to hell where they came from. Cure world hunger; because we both know I'm way too lazy to do that. Give me the ability to strum according to Jeff Rummer's strumming patterns.

Replace perfectionism with a love that I can genuinely feel and respond to.

..."I'm fine, how are you?"

Intent never makes a sound.