Set Your Cell To Stun… …I mean Silent. Yeah. Silent.

It wouldn't be good enough to say that it was a difficult week.  I've spent some time just thinking to myself about the trial and its implications.  It's been a tremendously difficult thing to wrestle with.  In spite of that, I wrestle none the less.

First of all, -for my own sake and the sake of those around me whom I am close to and absolutely love- I would like to acknowledge that there isn't really a right or wrong emotion to feel in response to what went down that week.  Peter's impact on us was profound in such a different way.  What he did was terrible.  It was terrible for everybody involved.  It was terrible for everyone NOT involved.  It was terrible for everyone. 

I would submit with a certain degree of hesitancy that it was a terrible thing for God, too.  I have to believe that Jesus, being fully God but ALSO fully human (many tend to forget the implications of that) is writhing in his right handed seat at the throne of God.

I hope nobody -and I mean absolutely nobody- is at all confused about where I am with it.  Peter is hands down and by far the most cowardly, sick and twisted individual I've ever had the burden of laying my eyes on. 

I remember in fifth grade we always had a wicked word of the week.  Now, I remember one of those words: pusillanimous.  I did some research on the word, and I don't think it quite describes him accurately.  Poltroonish definitely is more or less what I'm getting at here.  That's probably what I am thinking.

I have a tremendously difficult time believing that Jesus would give His life up so weeks like this would happen.  Did Jesus want this to happen?  Hell no!  Did it happen? 

...um, I don't want to answer that question.  But the answer is obvious.  It happened. What is considerably worse is the reality that it still happens. I hate that.

I was seeing a councilor about some of the fairly extensive emotional damage Peter laid into my psyche, and the councilor's thoughts on Peter were a bit humorous, but quite accurate:
"We have ALL KINDS of medical terminology to describe the kind of twisted individual Peter is."

All joking aside, what Peter does is dangerous.

But so is God; dangerous, but good.  Our group of friends isn't the one that you do this kind of thing to.  We're stronger than that.  God undeniably makes His dwelling place His people, is living large, and is tremendously powerful among us.  For some reason, this word keeps on bouncing around in my head and I need to get it out before something bad happens:

Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer.  Conquer. 

God's power at work in us will help us conquer these ugly realities that peter dished out to us. When I have wiped the tears away from my eyes, I will grab my metaphoric battle ax, and do what I can to fight for the freedom of my people.

Having said all that, I have tremendous respect for all the people who testified.  I have tremendous respect for Erik.  He is a warrior, whether or not it's a politically correct thing to say so. In his brute, however, he maintains a remarkably humble attitude. That isn't just impressive, that's encouraging.

Yet even Erik will tell you that he has learned so much from Brianne. I am humbled by how well she has maintained her composure. God or no god, that's impressive, encouraging, and very respectable.

Jesus didn't desire or intend for hardships like this to happen.
My beef with God: Intent never makes a sound.

Jesus didn't intend for us to be defeated by this, either.

He died so that we would be victorious. That's more than intent. That makes a noise that echoes into every empty crevasse of who I am. It resonates loudly with every humiliating and painful moment I've ever had. It resounds continuously, even if we cannot hear it: Victory is the Lord's. Intent never makes a sound. Jesus made some noise.

 

Wait. I should say that again. Intent never makes a sound.

Jesus made some noise.

 

I guess this is me saying I can hear something. At this point, it would be a safe and honest thing to say that this situation goes far beyond merely trivial good intentions.
I don't intend to be defeated.

 

 

…Intent never makes a sound.

Start The Machine

I'm on a recent Angels & Airwaves kick. They're unbelievable.
Big surprise, right? While I'm typing, I'm multitasking and taking in the socio/spiritual and ethical musings of Tom Delong's masterful lyric writing skills. The song: "Start The Machine." It might read as though I'm being sarcastic, but I implore you: there is no sarcasm to be had here. Read the lyrics:

The ash set in then blew away
It's getting lost into the sea
I grew so close to all the thoughts I had to leave forever.
I left the chill and voice of screams and kids; and ran for shelter.

You know, I won't say sorry.
You know, I won't say sorry;
The pain has a bad reaction, a blend of fear and passion.
You know what it's like to believe.
It makes me wanna scream.

I see a glow from far away
A faint reflection on the sea
I left some words quite far from here to be a short reminder.
I laid them out in stone in case they need to last forever.

You know I won't say sorry.
you know I won't say sorry.
The pain has a bad reaction.
A blend, of fear and passion.
You know what it's like to believe,
It makes me wanna scream.

I see the stars they’re in your eyes
A playful kiss, can't you tell I'm excited?
A fast escape in the nick of time
You lost your wish, can I help you to find it?
I'm on my knee, just one to start
A fresh new start, Don't be undecided

If love’s the word that you say, say it. I will listen.



...Don't even let me start on this one. More to come soon.

MTV's Parental Control

There are few programs on MTV that I feel are worth even wasting my time watching. I rarely feel MTV worthy of society's fascination. Regardless, MTV's Parental Control is well worth exploring in the world of dating ethic.

The show begins with a woman or man's relationship with their significant other. The two are together for whatever reason. Tension surfaces when the parents become a valuable part of the equation. Mom and Dad don't like the woman or man's significant other, and are concerned about their son or daughter's future given this relationship.

Where lesser friends have failed to point out the obvious, MTV carries its moral responsibility to succeed. MTV gives the parents an opportunity to be in their kids' lives by setting up interviews of potential blind dates for their child. Brilliant.

After the interviews are completed and the dates have been selected, the "fun" part begins. I had a socio/spiritual/ethical field day with this part. The parents sit down with their child's awful boy or girlfriend and watch together (like a family would back in the good old days) as the two embark on a blind date. Here, all the true colors come into focus quite clearly.

Several minutes follow, filled with a progressing date that is cut again and again between the actual date and the parents watching. On the date side of the camera: attempt after attempt to impress the child in question, venting on frustration with the given relationship in question, and the obligatory pushing of the physical limits in light of the relationship already established. On the eavesdropping and watching side of the camera: arguments filled with poorly scripted insults, comeback lines, and taunting both on part of the parents and the poor boy or girlfriend.

Emotional reaction and facial expression, however, simply cannot be scripted. The true colors come out, to an extent. I'd like to take a moment to pause and reflect on what kinds of issues are most weighty on my psyche when considering this situation. The situation:

Two parents sitting with their kid's significant other, whom they don't so much like. This trio is rollin' comfy on a couch, and watching someone they all have some kind of emotional attachment to go out on a date. A lot is on the line here. First with the parents, then with the bad significant other.

The parents face a pretty harsh measuring of how well they know their kids. Are they so concerned about their kids that they would be involved enough to know what kinds of things their kids like in a significant other? Are they strong enough to see what their child might not as far as what they need in a relationship? Did the person they had chosen measure up to their initial impression? What kind of parents are they, really?

Yet the parents' influence is strangely drawn into question with this paradigm. Disciplining one's child is in no way the same with dating as disciplining the same child when it comes to studying, sharing, and playing nice with others. Sure, what the parents have to say weighs in heavily on how the child acts. Yet in spite of that, the parents do not have the same absolute sovereignty as they would in regards to making their child eat their peas before desert.

This is where the significant other comes in. First of all, MTV scripts how the significant other in question acts. They would have to. If not, the cameras bring a fair amount of pressure to react to what is being watched.

If I were the significant other in question, I'd be on the verge of wetting my pants. To begin with, for a dating relationship to be worthwhile (in my opinion) takes into account what is important to the other person. If the girl is doing this show, she is obviously concerned about what her parents have to say. If her parents are saying things like "your boyfriend is rude," or "your boyfriend doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated," it would be of utmost importance to me. I would want to change that and impress them. That the significant other tries to defend any of these habits is abrasively repulsive to me.

Yet the real test is that of the one who is being watched. The son or daughter in question. How far will he or she go both emotionally and physically with the other comparing date? How committed is this person to the pre-existing relationship? And why the hell does it take a television show to get people to consider the effects of how they act?!?!

All that said, I've always thought it would be fun to be a dater on the show. If I were on the show, my intentions would be to highlight the strengths of the person in general, and do what I could to serve the needs of the situation. A pretty admirable intent, if you ask me;

...intent never makes a sound.