excuse me, but...

Wow. Sometimes I am both disappointing and disappointed. Anybody vibe with me on that one?
Let me set this blog off with a word from the Good Book.

Ephesians 4:2-
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I think you might know where this one is going. Forgive me while I rant for a while.
Is it not "cool," even within a subculture of friends to be gentle, like the Good Book says? Man, sometimes I feel like all the people around here (boulder) that I spend more than a half hour with want to tell you that if your life sucks, suck it up. Even the Christian ones!

I digress. I am guilty of completely forgetting that the world doesn't need my input on how it should be run. But it is worth pointing out that people overlook this verse quite a bit. Ephesians 4:2 seems pivotal to me, because it makes room for another person where they are at.

Too often I find myself in a group of people feeling a bit anxious because I am somehow not what they expect me to be. I've got a status to live up to. Would it be unfair to say you either expect or want me to behave a certain way when seeing me? I hope so.

I want to be a fun person to be around. All the time. The simple reality is that I am not always the most fun person to be around. All the time. That said, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you had some unmet expectations or didn't have the most amazing time of your life while hanging around me. Having said that, do you think you could be completely humble and gentle with me, bearing with me in love?

This is where I go from being disappointed to being disappointing. I expect you to recognize the effort I've put into being around you. I expect that of you without really taking a lot of time to recognize the effort you've put into being around me. Or even recognizing that you might not WANT to be around me. Damn, I hate it when that happens. That's humiliating. Or perhaps just humbling. There's got to be a difference between the two. Not to mention, venting by means of a scathing blog might not be the most gentle way to go about communicating my otherwise alexithymic frustration.

I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party. I've done it before, they're not that fun. What I am trying to say is that there is an abundant reality of Christ's life waiting just on the other side of Ephesians 4:2 that I would love to experience more than anything in the world!!!! I fully intend to get to know (both in my mind and with my heart/experiences) what Ephesians 4:2 has for me...

...but intent never makes a sound. Ya dig?